Britney Spears - Circus (album)

Britney is back. I'm not sure if she officially left, but regardless - it's a whole new Britney from the one we saw a year ago. Or is it? The club-ready sound of 'Blackout' served as a soundtrack to the sexed-up, club-scene, party life Britney was living at the time. But under the conservatorship (thanks, Britney, for adding this word to the American vocabulary) of her father, she has seemingly cleaned up her act. And the work proves it. While this album retains the dance-friendly vibe of 'Blackout', it's overall sound is lodged somewhere between the sound effect-laden glittery electro of last year's 'Blackout' and the sometimes dance, yet still kid-friendly pop of 2003's 'In the Zone.' That's not to say the album is a step backward, but it's not much of a step forward either. Given all that, it's still chock full of the irresistibly catchy melodies and glossy synth effects that keep us Britney fans coming back for more. Given that, it's not without it's hint of darkness and remorse that naturally comes in the aftermath of such public tumult. There is an underpinning of sadness in some of these tracks, but it's hard to discern if it's regret for past behavior or a longing to be free from the newfound constraints of her family and her custody battle. Knowing Britney (and having read excerpts from her upcoming 90-minute MTV documentary, where she likens her current lifestyle to a jail sentence), my money is on the latter.

Here are a few thoughts on some select tracks.

Womanizer
While this is not my favorite track on the album, it's clear why it was the first single. It's the most in-your-face track on the album and it's melody is one of the most unique and memorable. Plus, it's a great way to position Britney as a strong female who won't be taken for a fool by any playboy (Sam, Adnan, are you listening?).

Circus
It would be a crime to not release this gem as a single. Sure, the lyrics are a bit lightweight, but they provide a playful way for Britney to address the insanity around her life while also touting her bravado as a force to be reckoned with when commanding the stage. There's some great hooks in this track too, which is why it is a favorite of mine. This track is begging for a club remix treatment and when it arrives it is sure to become a favorite around gay dance clubs around the world, if for no other reason than the lyrics alone ("I'm a put on a show kinda girl... I feel the adrenaline runnin' through my veins, feel the spotlight on me and I'm ready to break, I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage"). Cynical as I may be, I too am still a complete sucker for these diva showgirl lyrics and I love it. This song will be an anthem for all of us 20-something gays living our Saturday-night club lives vicariously through Ms. Spears.

Out From Under
Ok, so it's not exactly 'Garden State' soundtrack material, but it's some of the most mature Britney ballad's to date. Musically, it sounds as if it could be a Backstreet Boys song (which is both its strong point and downfall, depending on your opinion of their music). But the lyrics achieve what we look for in a pop track from one of our favorite divas - a wonderful double-statement on a failed relationship and the pressures and failures of her family and personal life.

Kill the Lights
I hated this song on the first few listens, but in the context of the album it's completely grown on me. Sure, it once again addresses Britney's significance to the world of paparazzi photographers (think "Piece of Me"), but, it's full of attitude ("Mr. Photographer... make sure you catch me from my good side, pick one") and it's got a great beat. What more do you need?

Shattered Glass
This track loses major points for the first minute of it's 2:52 running time for replicating the beat of the track right before it ("Kill the Lights") but it finds sweet redemption when the chorus kicks in. Once that happens, you forget all about "Kill the Lights" and begin to realize that you are 5 tracks into the new Britney album and so far not one major misstep. Surely the next track will suck, right?

If You Seek Amy
"Love me, hate me, say what you want about me, but all of the boys and all of the girls are beggin' to 'if you seek Amy'." This has to be the best and worst line of the entire album. When read, it's completely, utterly ridiculous. But spoken aloud, it takens on a whole new meaning (if you seek Amy ... F-U-C-K me). If you're reading this blog, you are probably well aware of this already, but you have to admit it's damn clever. Sure, it doesn't make much sense, even within the context of the song (which is basically about Britney looking all over the club for "Amy" which we must presume is a euphemism for sex), but this line will be stuck in your head for days. I guarantee it. The single best moment on the album. And perhaps the catchiest single line of any song released this year. "Love me, hate me, say what you want about me, but all of the boys and all of the girls are beggin' to F-U-C-K me." It's just so damn fun to sing. Too bad it will most likely end up being this album's "Toy Soldier" ... a surefire massive single that will never see a release (considering the best part of this track would have to be censored on radio, most likely).

At this point, the album starts to become much more hit-or-miss. There's only one song on the album that verges on bad ("My Baby," the album closer which is literally about her babies and how insignificant her life is without them, which comes off a bit ingenuine coming from the same person who seemingly earlier this year wanted nothing to do with them; You can't help but feel as if inclusion of this track was her custody attorney's idea). As with most Britney albums, the last half of the track will probably grow on me over the months ahead and eventually become favorites when the first half of the disc starts to wear thin... But ultimately, the lack of excitement on the last half of the disc can't help but leave you feeling a bit let down after the undenialbe out-of-the-park homerun that was 'Blackout', an almost flawless pop record from beginning to end. Kudos to Britney for going for something more than a complete recreation of 'Blackout' (which we all know would've been a massive success had Britney been cleaned up during its release), but it still leaves you longing for just a few more amazingly hot, sexy, trashy dance tunes that 'Blackout' provided one after another.

Sarah Palin does Springfield

So, I went to the Sarah Palin rally today... I am most definitely NOT a supporter, but I do love a good spectacle. It was INSANE. There were so many people there it was ridiculous. I think the estimate was around 20,000 (that's a TON of people for southwest MO). I also went to the Biden rally a few weeks ago and it wasn't nearly the event that the Palin rally was. There was probably only 2,000+ people at Biden's rally.

The most bizarre moment... when Naomi Judd introduced her! How random. She went off on a diatribe about the “unrepentant liberal biased media” and acknowledged that such a statement would likely be "career suicide" (LMAO, riiiight... what career, Naomi?) but she couldn't "stand by" any longer.

Fat Hair pomade

This shit really works! (the real demo starts about 1:50)



Ok, so 25 has hit me hard... ok, not that hard, but my once ultra thick and lush hair has started to thin, but only in the front... the rest is just as thick as ever. For someone who styles the front heavily and mostly lays the rest down, this has been devastating. Good hair days have become much fewer and far between.

BUT, I recently picked up this product (samy's Fat Hair Pomade) and it REALLY works. It's amazing how it works... it penetrates the actual hair strand and causes it to expand from within, making your actual hair strands fatter. I thought it would work just by thickening up my hair like a brush pile, leaving it gunky and unkempt looking... but it doesn't! Perhaps best of all, it continues to work even if I mix in my other hair products (other pomades and spiking glue). Basically, it's f*cking awesome.

Now, as my hair continues to thin, this won't do much good, but in the interim it's allowed me to keep my juvenile, past-its-prime, spiky hairstyle, defying age and nature. Woo hoo!

Madonna - Into the Groove (Sidechains Remix)

This is why God gave us EARS and FEET.

Download link: http://www.zshare.net/audio/50113640cc0cfa0d

For once, an unofficial modern, 2000s-club-kid-friendly mix of an 80's track gets everything RIGHT. You know how most of these mixes distill these great tracks down to just a couple blips and samples of the original vocal and spend the rest of the time looping monotonous, cliche'd electro samples? This one does not. It retains all the magic of the original, but injects it with some late 2000's steroids... it's not afraid to peak at all the right epic, pop moments. Don't miss this, folks! This is why God gave us EARS and FEET.

Picked this up at a great blog with tons of downloads: http://ppelectro.blogspot.

My suckling kitties

These are my cats, Ruthie and Jake. They are siblings. Every day (usually in the middle of the night) Ruthie will blissfully suckle her brother's teats. Its weird - but what can I do? They are usually both purring throughout, so... whatev!

MJ's 50th Birthday Party

OK - so me and my best friend at work, Stephanie, have a Michael Jackson paper doll that has kept us entertained for the last 2 and a half years. Michael frequently has commentary on the goings-on of the office and migrates back and forth between our two desks, often with post-its attached detailing his thoughts on any range of topics, usually laced with various Michael-isms, of course ("shamone," "daddy," "P.Y.T.," "hee hee," "owwww!" etc...).

So, when the real Michael Jackson turned 50 in August, OF COURSE we took the opportunity to throw a celebration for our office MJ... and what a celebration it was. I even sent out invites to 4 or 5 others who are friends of MJ via Office Outlook, just to get it on everyone's calendars. We might be complete dorks but this was seriously some of the most fun I've ever had at work.

This is the full spread for the birthday... I brought in all of my MJ paraphernalia including the special surprise guest - the Thriller doll that I bought for $7 on eBay back when I was in college. MJ also got birthday cards from Holly, Deborah, Stephanie and Casey.


Casey's gift to MJ was a boys Little League baseball team. He LOVED it.

Hell yeah, Holly made cupcakes.

My US Kath & Kim Review

The US adaptation of one of my favorite TV shows of all time has arrived. NBC's "Kath & Kim" premier is now available for free download on iTunes and will debut on NBC this Thursday night.

In short: I enjoyed it. It was actually quite a bit funnier than I expected.

However - this is no Riley/Turner Kath & Kim. Here's a run-down of the differences that bothered me most...

- The true comic genius of the original lies in its subtle humor. Even though I have seen most episodes a zillion times, I still find new, funny things happening that I've never noticed before. The US version abandons that completely - if its funny (or attempting to be funny as the case may be), its obvious to the viewer. This is my primary complaint. Like the US version, the original had completely stupid characters doing completely stupid, offensive things, but the subtlety of the humor made for a surprisingly intelligent delivery. With the subtlety out the door, the US version just feels like more stupid US humor that you "get" without really paying too close attention.

- The issue of Kim's "weight" feels really forced when it's played by Selma Blair who is one of the skinniest actresses in Hollywood. Even with her twenty extra pounds, she's still stick-thin. They would have been better off leaving Kim's weight out of the storyline completely.

- They have WAY too much budget. Everything from the camera filters, set design, camera work... it robs the show of its raw feeling that made the original so fun to watch. In the original, you feel like Kath and Kim could be real people and that we are peeking in on their daily lives. In the US version, since its so much glossier, the characters are completely unbelievable, which really detracts from the enjoyability.

- The pilot gave no indication that the characters would have any classic catchphrases that carry through the series. Half the fun of Kath and Kim is the catchphrases that pop up constantly, yet never get tiring ("Look at mooooiiii," "Well I didn't bloody know!!," "toot suite," etc...).

- Selma Blair's 'Kim' is a pale imitation of the original. She has Americanized the role rather well, but her delivery feels so forced. This is best exemplified in her line "Would it make you feel better if you got up and made us some nacho s?" And it's not just Selma Blair - all the acting comes across as forced. Its as if they're stuck between imitating the original portrayals and adapting the characters for the US. I'm not sure this is the actors' faults - it holds true for all the characters, so I think it has more to do with the writing and directing.

But, at the end of the day, I am sure I will tune in weekly and I will probably laugh out loud quite a bit - the pilot had me laughing a lot, actually. But, the funniest moments were when they were doing original material (truly adapting the story). Its when they start imitating the original that they fall flat.

Hot new '08 remix of CeCe Peniston's "Finally"

Ok, I normally HATE modern remixes of classic tracks because they just don't do the original any justice... but this one does. The beat is crisp and hard and the track works soooo well with the synth and the vocals swirling around each other. I highly recommend it.

CeCe Peniston - Finally 2008 (Kam Denny & Paul Zala Remix)

My Top 40 Dance Tracks of Summer 2008

Believe it or not, after a 2 and a half year dry spell, dance radio is finally rocking some great new tunes. It hasn't been this good since fall of 2005. Seriously. The tracks that have been released this summer have reminded me just why I love dance music so much. Keep 'em coming! To commemorate, here are my favorite tracks of the past summer.

1. Lady GaGa - Just Dance
2. Kaskade - Angel On My Shoulder
3. Benny Benassi feat. Channing - Come Fly Away
4. PhonJaxx feat. Cozi Costi - Sensual
5. Dhany - U & !
6. Michelle Williams - We Break the Dawn (Karmatronic Remix)
7. Benny Benassi - I Am Not Drunk
8. Danity Kane - Damaged
9. Cyndi Lauper - Into the Nightlife
10. Ne-Yo - Closer
11. Rihanna - Disturbia
12. Sandy vs. Dhany - Break the Wall (Mobbing Remix Edit)
13. Kelly Rowland - Work (Freemason's Edit)
14. Sharam feat. Daniel Bedingfield - The One
15. Ultrabeat vs. Darren Styles - Discolights
16. Alex Gaudino feat. Shena - Watch Out
17. Dizzee Rascal feat. Calvin Harris & Chrome - Dance Wiv Me
18. Jennifer Hudson - Spotlight (Moto Blanco Radio Edit)
19. Guru Josh Project - Infinity (Klaas Vocal Edit)
20. Kaskade - Move For Me
21. Wideboys feat. Shazney Lewis - Daddy O
22. Lenny B - Radical
23. Annie - I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me
24. Benny Benassi - Finger Food
25. Dhany - Saturday
26. Antoine Clamaran & Mario Ochoa feat. Lulu Hughes - Give Some Love (Klaas Remix Edit)
27. Metro Station - Shake It (Lenny B Remix Edit)
28. Mac Project feat. Therese - Another Love
29. Velvet - Take My Body Close
30. MGMT - Electric Feel
31. Sam Sparro - Black & Gold
32. Supafly Inc. - Be Together
33. Ercola & Heikki L - Deep At Night (Adam K. & Soha Radio Edit)
34. T2 feat. Aysha - Heartbroken (Wawa Main Radio Version)
35. Sam Sparro - 21st Century Life
36. Dhany - Promise Land
37. Ricki-Lee - U Wanna Little of This
38. Booty Luv - Some Kinda Rush
39. Benny Benassi - U Move U Rock Me
40. Chris Brown - Forever

And for the record, the tracks by MGMT, Ercola & Heikki L, and Supafly Inc. would likely chart much higher, but it's only recently that I have realized their greatness.

George Michael enters 2008 US Presidential Campaign

So on CNN's Larry King Live the other night, the topic was all about who the Presidential candidates will pick for the Vice Presidential running mate. Larry had a panel of 3 guys (2 Democrat, 1 Republican) and 1 girl (Republican). Anyway, the Republican girl was talking about how Obama should run with Hilary Clinton and said the following (to paraphrase):

"Just imagine what a historical moment it would be when Bill is speaking at the Democratic National Convention and he announces that he has a special guest, the Democratic Vice Presidential nominee, HIS WIFE! It would be just like that moment when George Michael announces that Elton John will be joining him on stage to sing a song together, that song they do, and everyone just goes crazy. It would be wonderful!"

I was eating dinner and CRACKING up. You could tell the other people on the panel were thinking "WTF is she talking about?! Did she just say George Michael in relation to the Presidential race?!?!" It was hilarious.

Was Daft Punk's 2004 'Human After All' album ahead of its time?

I hated, hated, hated this album when it was released and thought it to be nothing more than pointless noise, but listening to it again now, it's very much aligned with the sound that is popular in dance music today - 4 years later. It sounds as if it could've just been released.

Maybe they got lucky since Justice ripped them off and everyone has since ripped off Justice, thus bringing their "sound" into vogue... but I think there's something more to it. Songs like "Technologic," "Prime Time of Your Life," and especially "Television Rules the Nation" sound just like the stuff being released today (only better)... and nothing like the stuff being released in 2004.

Soundtrack to January 2008

a.k.a. my most listened to tracks of the month...

1. Janet Jackson - "Feedback"
2. Kylie Minogue - "Wow (Radio Edit)"
3. Snoop Dogg feat. Robyn - "Sexual Eruption (Remix)"
4. CSS - "Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex"
5. Shiny Toy Guns - "You Are the One"
6. Britney Spears - "Piece of Me"
7. Boys Noize - "& Down"
8. Paula Abdul & Randy Jackson - "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow"
9. Dragonette - "I Get Around"
10. Goldfrapp - "A&E"
11. Todd Terry - "Get Down (Kenny Dope Original Mix)"
12. Shiny Toy Guns - "Le Disko"
13. Calvin Harris - "The Girls"
14. Shiny Toy Guns - "Starts With One"
15. Shiny Toy Guns - "Rainy Monday (Bimbo Jones Mix)"
16. Basshunter - "Now You're Gone"

Ryan's Top 100 Tracks of 2007

Every year I like to compile a list of my top 40 or so songs from the year. I have never had more difficulty doing this list than I did this year. There was no way a Top 40 could do justice to what I'd been listening to all year long. Maybe there was an abundance of good tunes in '07. Maybe my taste has become even more schizo. Who knows. All I know is I really, really love each and every one of the tracks ranked below. I started with a playlist of 316 tracks from Nov. 2006 - Dec. 2007 that I have listened to repeatedly. Then, based on a variety of factors in my head, narrowed it down to THE TOP 100.

1. Britney Spears - "Gimme More"
2. Calvin Harris - "The Girls"
3. Rihanna - "Don't Stop the Music"
4. Freemasons feat. Siedah Garrett - "Rain Down Love (Walken Edit)"
5. Kylie Minogue - "Wow"
6. Kylie Minogue - "Speakerphone"
7. Britney Spears - "Break the Ice"
8. Shiny Toy Guns - "Le Disko"
9. Ultrabeat vs. Darren Styles - "Sure Feels Good"
10. Sugababes - "Easy"
11. Eddie Thoneick - "Deeper Love (Big Room Radio Mix)"
12. Britney Spears - "Piece of Me"
13. Girls Aloud - "Something Kinda Ooooh"
14. Kylie Minogue - "In My Arms"
15. Kylie Minogue - "Fall For You (Version 2)"
16. Kylie Minogue - "Nu-Di-Ty"
17. Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E. - "The Way I Are"
18. Britney Spears - "Hot As Ice"
19. Kanye West - "Stronger"
20. Kylie Minogue - "Sensitized"
21. Kylie Minogue - "Like a Drug"
22. Laidback Luke feat. Stephen Granville - "Hypnotize"
23. Eddie Thoneick - "Love Sensation (Radio Mix)"
24. David Guetta with Steve Angelo & Sebastian Ingrosso - "Everytime We Touch"
25. Ultra Nate - "Automatic"
26. Rihanna - "Push Up On Me"
27. Marcel Woods - "Advanced"
28. David Guetta - "Love Is Gone"
29. Miley Cyrus - "See You Again"
30. Keyshia Cole feat. Too $hort -Didn't I Tell You
31. The Gossip - "Standing in the Way of Control (Soulwax Nite Mix)"
32. Kylie Minogue - "Lose Control"
33. Kathy Diamond - "All Woman"
34. Britney Spears - "Radar"
35. Robyn - "Cobrastyle"
36. Starkillers - "Scream"
37. Basement Jaxx - "Make Me Sweat"
38. Rihanna - "Shut Up and Drive"
39. Felix da Housecat - "Future Calls the Dawn"
40. Ben Macklin feat. Tiger Lily - "Feel Together"
41. DJ Antoine - "This Time (Klaas Mix)"
42. Kylie Minogue - "The One"
43. Rihanna - "Breakin' Dishes"
44. M.I.A. - "Bamboo Banga"
45. Britney Spears - "Get Naked (I Got a Plan)"
46. Kylie Minogue - "Boombox (LA Riots Remix)"
47. Britney Spears - "Toy Soldier"
48. Rilo Kiley - "Under the Blacklight"
49. P!nk - "U + Ur Hand"
50. Fergie - "Big Girls Don't Cry"
51. Fall Out Boy - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"
52. Dannii Minogue - "Blame It on the Music"
53. Chris Brown feat. T-Pain - "Kiss Kiss"
54. Ciara - "Promise"
55. Kylie Minogue - "Stars"
56. Rihanna feat. Jay-Z - "Umbrella"
57. M.I.A. - "XR2"
58. Kylie Minogue - "White Diamond"
59. Jennifer Lopez - "Hold It, Don't Drop It"
60. Ohsha Kai - "Outta My Mind (Joey C's Original Radio Edit)"
61. Girls Aloud - "Sexy! No, No, No"
62. Wamdue Project - "King of My Castle (Sander Van Doorn Remix)"
63. Benny Benassi - "Who's Your Daddy?"
64. Dannii Minogue vs. Jason Nevins - "Touch Me Like That"
65. Britney Spears - "Get Back"
66. Kylie Minogue - "Rippin' Up the Disco"
67. Keyshia Cole feat. Amina - "Shoulda Let You Go"
68. The Chemical Brothers - "Do It Again"
69. 4 Strings - "Curious"
70. David Guetta feat. Steve Angelo & Cozi - "Baby When the Lights Go Out"
71. M.I.A. - "Boyz"
72. September - "Looking for Love"
73. Mason vs. Princess Superstar - "Perfect (Exceeder)"
74. Lost Daze vs. Todd Terry - "Get Down"
75. Ann Lee - "Catches Your Love"
76. Martijn Ten Velden - "I Wish U Would"
77. Groove Armada feat. Mutya Buena - "Song 4 Mutya (Out of Control)"
78. Ida Corr vs. Fedde Le Grand - "Let Me Think About It"
79. Róisín Murphy - "You Know Me Better"
80. Armand Van Helden - "I Want Your Soul"
81. Beyonce & Shakira - "Beautiful Liar (Freemasons Radio Edit)"
82. Above & Beyond presents Tranquility Base - "Oceanic"
83. Britney Spears - "Freakshow"
84. David Guetta vs. El Tocadisco - "Tomorrow Can Wait"
85. 50 Cent feat. Justin Timberlake - "Ayo Technology"
86. DJ Encore - "You Can Walk On Water"
87. Britney Spears - "Perfect Lover"
88. DJ Encore - "You Make Me Feel Alive"
89. M.I.A. - "Jimmy"
90. Jennifer Lopez - "Do It Well"
91. Rilo Kiley - "Silver Lining"
92. Diddy feat. Keyshia Cole - "Last Night"
93. Melinda Jackson - "Magic (Moustache Remix)"
94. Robyn - "With Every Heartbeat"
95. Nelly Furtado - "Do It"
96. Calvin Harris - "I Created Disco"
97. Keyshia Cole - "Heaven Sent"
98. Dannii Minogue - "Feel Like I Do"
99. September - "Cry For You"
100. Tiesto feat. Christian Burns - "In the Dark"

So, one look at this list and you can see that it was the year of Kylie & Britney for me. Kylie ranked 13 tracks in the list and Britney ranked 11. Confirmation that yes, after all this time, I still have the music taste of a 13 year old girl.

They're HERE!!

Minogue Mania in my house today!!

Given that Kylie is my favorite artist of all time, I simply couldn't bear to hear her new album from less-than-CD-quality MP3 downloads. So I decided to go old school and actually wait for the CD to arrive in the mail (it's not out in the US until February). After 3 weeks of avoiding the downloads, like a hooker turning down crack, Kylie's 'X' -her first studio album in FOUR years- is FINALLY here and I couldn't be more thrilled!

Not only is 'X' in my box of goodies from Amazon.co.uk, I also ordered some other Minogue new releases... because I can't get enough of the Minogues. I also ordered both UK CD singles of Kylie's "2 Hearts," as well as Dannii Minogue's 'Unleashed' and 'Neon Nights Deluxe Edition' albums (see earlier blog posts for details on these releases). And the cherry on top is a remix compilation and mix CD from my favorite DJ's of all time, Soulwax... which also contains a Kylie remix never before released commercially.

It's a fucking Minogue holiday! Sorry, Jesus, but this is WAY better than Christmas!

Mastur-baker

My "Marketing Graveyard" cake won "best dish" at work on Halloween goodie day. Woo hoo!

The brown sprinkles are meant to look like mounds of dirt and the yellow and orange sprinkles are fallen leaves.

(The tombstones all have names of people in my department.)